Dancing with the Little Ones

By Shane Butler

In my 22 years of contra dancing, I have gone from being a Romeorouge lothario of the dance floor to a loving husband and doting daddy of two dancing daughters. This evolution of perspective has given me tremendous insight into the difference between dancing with women of my own age to dancing with new-to-the-dance-floor preteens.

In the younger generation we have the future of contra dancing and it is dependant on us to make their dancing experience as positive and nurturing as possible. With this in mind I want to pass along a few things I’ve learned that could help make dancing with kids fun for you and a helpful learning experience for them.

Keep it grounded: We know you’re very strong and also how much fun it is to swing kids around and around without their feet touching the ground. But this teaches them nothing and makes some of them very nervous. It takes away their sense of control and their connection with the dance as a whole. Imagine yourself being flung around willy-nilly by a stranger and being too shy to ask them to stop. Let’s leave the airtwirls for their own daddys to do!

Personal space: An adult may enjoy being cuddled or squeezed close during a swing, plus they can definitely let you know when they don’t. But a child is not always going to be as comfortable in this situation or as forthcoming enough to let you know when they are not. The whole dance environment is intimidating enough for young beginners without somebody getting a little too close for comfort.

Flirting: Let’s keep it age appropriate! Amorous advances, regardless of how playfully intended should only be directed at adults and preferable to the ones you already know.

Most of all make it fun: This is all new to them, instruction and guidance can be useful, but most of all we want them to thoroughly enjoy their dancing experience and be eager to return.

A good rule of thumb is to treat all young dancers as you would want a child of your own to be treated. 

Remember: How a child, or anybody for that matter, feels about themselves when they get home will determine if they want to come back.